is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize