Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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