I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
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All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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