I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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