I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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