The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
