I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
