No awkward lesbian experiences without me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
