i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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