and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
