Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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