His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
