Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
