do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
