shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
how can u be prego again
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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