Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
