A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
