I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
