It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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