Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
