This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I want a musical about memes.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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