he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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