someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
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i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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