I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
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I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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