WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
