all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
