I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
