Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We were destined to go to rehab together
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Pooping to opera.
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