don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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