belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
