I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
