You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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