One girl and one boy is just not enough.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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