Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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