let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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