i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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