You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
