It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
