After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
