youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
