i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
bring money and cleavage
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
