I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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