found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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