Welp...herpes.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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