Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
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Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
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I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together