I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
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Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor