Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
