lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
