it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
ok first of all what the fuck
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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