im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
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Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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