If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
