He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
