We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
