can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize